Open heart surgery and me

Ok....so, Yesterday at the cardiologist, I really didnt hear what I wanted to hear about my heart. He has been tracking it for about 4 years, due to an aortic stenosis.

Yesterday his first words were "well, you need to start getting mentally prepared, because we are looking at surgery in a matter of months."

WOW!

Seriously...how do you "mentally prepare" for having someone saw your chest open, break your rib cage and play with your heart?? I havent figured out quite how to do that, but will let you know when I do.

I was born with a Bicuspid aortic valve. This means that the little flap that pumps oxegenated blood from my heart into the rest of my body. I have two problems with said valve:

regurgitation: The valve(s) does not close completely, causing the blood to flow backward instead of forward through the valve.

stenosis: The valve(s) opening becomes narrowed or valves become damaged or scarred (stiff), inhibiting the flow of blood out of the ventricles or atria. The heart is forced to pump blood with increased force in order to move blood through the narrowed or stiff (stenotic) valve(s).

So, here is some information on why and all that stuff, for those of you who have asked what it is and why i got it. Basically, there is NOTHING that I could have done to prevent it, keep it at bay, or to prevent surgery....it moves at it's own pace and when it's ready, it's ready. Mine is almost ready.

This is from wikipedia and has a link to bicuspid aortic valves.

Major causes and predisposing conditions of aortic stenosis include acute rheumatic fever and bicuspid aortic valve. As individuals age, calcification of the aortic valve may occur and result in stenosis. This is especially likely to occur in people with a bicuspid aortic valve, but also occurs in the setting of perfectly normal valves as a result of age-induced 'wear and tear'. Typically, aortic stenosis due to calcification of a bicuspid valve occurs in the 4th or 5th decade of life, whereas that due to calcification of a normal valve tends to occur later - around the 7th or 8th decade.

This is a link to mayo clinic and its really easy to understand and stuff. http://mayoclinic.com/health/aortic-valve-stenosis/DS00418

My little cabana

For those of you who were worried about my "tool shed" "back yard shack" and other various names I have heard....relax!!!
Here are some pictures, and I think if I might say so myself, mom and I did a darn fine job!! The room isnt done quite yet, but you can see its pretty cute and definately livable!!!
The pics of the inside are taken almost in a circle of the entire room.

Oregon weekend

Ok, so I am back from a VERY quick trip to Oregon to hang out with my mom, sister, gran, best friend and my GORGEOUS WONDERFUL SUPER AWESOME nephew, PJ!!!

My poor sister got food poisoning the last day, which really sucked bad, and I was sorry that we sorta missed out on a few precious hours together, but I am so greatful I got to spend the time with my family.

Here are some pictures of our trip.

11 pounds

Ok, so I weighed myself this morning and it appears I have lost 11 pounds!! :)

I know week 1 loss is usually much better then week two, so I am thinking I wont weigh myself for a couple weeks (not to mention my trip to Oregon in the middle of this week!)

11 pounds doesnt sound like much when you have SOOO MUCH to lose, but then I started putting it in perspective.

11 pounds is a bag of potatoes and a container of butter.
11 pounds is a gallon and a half of milk.
11 pounds is bigger then my chihuahua!

so...again, baby steps!!

One other note: I JOGGED TODAY!!! yes it was only 5 minutes (twice) but its a start!!!
also watched the P90X workout and B...that crap is HARD!!!! :) I am going to start doing some of the stuff in my morning excercise!!!

And a personal note to my sister Sara: I love you more then I can tell you and your support has been sooo invaluable to me. Stick with your boot camp and I will stick with my dancing and maybe in a year or so we can bawl our way through a marathon together.....or a half of one!

tiny victories!

Ok. Here it is.....day 6...or 7...I have quit counting because in order for this to work, its going to be my new lifestyle not a diet. Diets fail for me, and I have proved it over and over again.
I can remember clear back to when I was about 6 years old, being "so cute, if you'd just lose that 10 pounds"
My entire life has been a series of bribery, offers, deals and pleas. I always tried to do what I needed to do, but have found that in the long run I need to do this for me.
I have spent so many years taking care of everyone else, that I have not taken care of myself. So, this is my attempt to love me, take care of me, and do whats right for me.
I have taken delight in tiny victories this week.
From going out to eat and making better choices AND
having them bring a "to go" container so I could put half the meal in it before I even took my first bite,
to going shopping and buying a few new things that are healthier choices (and making it through the store with the biggest "junk food" item being a bag of low fat tortilla chips!).
I am going to eat more tofu...I like it but always cook it the same way, so figured I would try a few new recipes I found. I am going to try eating sweet potatoes (not covered in butter, marshmallows and brown sugar), and since I like veggie burgers, I bought some for those days I just DONT want to cook.
Those things may not sound like much to you, but for me, they are all tiny steps in the right direction. They are all the way I want my life to be.
I can list the junk food I ate on one hand this week, it was the exception not the rule...and it feels good.
I danced 4 days this week, which is 4 days more then the week before. Next week I will be happy with 4 but will shoot for 5!!!

Day 2

woke up again at 6:30 to dance my way to good health I feel kind of silly standing in the livingroom dancing like a fool, but it feels good too.

My horoscope today was as follows:

Your horoscope for January 8, 2009
"Inspiration" is the keyword for today. An optimistic and enthusiastic attitude could lead to powerful imaginings, which may take solid form in your mind as plans for future projects. These could be artistic, or business-oriented, or centered around your home in some way. Whatever they are, amy, this is a good day to put those plans into motion. All signs indicate success on any project begun or completed.

That boosted my hopes! LOL
Anyway, yesterday I did pretty good food-wise. I did eat a piece of birthday cake in celebration of Marie's Birthday but had them cut it in half....so I didnt even feel too guilty there!!!

I have decided one way to keep things cheap and healthier is rice and frozen veggies! I also think when the weather is nicer I am going to start riding my bike on the trails here in town. Maybe mom can join me when she gets here!! I think having her here will be good, as she likes to go and do and I like to go with her.

Thanks all for the comments guys!! I appreciate the support!!!

Diary of a fat girl

Ok...so I have decided that my life is out of control and I seriously need to do something about it, so I figured "where better place to put my struggles, feelings, and victories then my Blog for all the world to see?" *facepalm*
I figure if I document my progress and kept honest here, it would be easier.
For those of you who read this (my family and friends) please dont chastise every bite i stick in my mouth or rag about my working out....just be quietly supportive and be there when I need a boost of self confidence!
Recently two special men in my life have motivated me and made me want to better myself, so I want to thank you Brion and Corbett for your support, quiet encouragement and lesson by example.
Corbett, I might not say it enough, but you motivate me so much, and talking with you about your struggles to lose weight, set backs and "getting back on track" really really do make me think that this time I can do it. Even our conversations about what spices help make food taste better. =)
Brion....your workouts and lifechanging habits in the face of much adversity and negativity make me convinced that I can do this, even on a shoestring budget. I dont need a fancy gym, just the motivation to move!!!
Anyway, I am not going to put my weight on here but I will post some pictures for a "before and after" thing so I can look at them and see the changes....its hard when you see it every day, to see where you are making progress.
My habit changes are going to be in two parts: 1- portion control and 2-excersize. I figure any change i can make in these two areas are positive ones, so I will start slow and grow from there.
Day 1: Got up 30 minutes early and danced till I sweat. I figure to start a healthy routine, I should do something I like...and I love to dance, so dancing it is!! I even used resistance bands part of the time. Really feel great today! Might even throw in some excersize tonight when I get home.